Tuesday, 3 April 2012

Loco on the 'Deines, Waxa on the laxa, Miosis Meltodown, Bovver Brouges and Nervous breakdown in London town

London is going crazy, London soon to be Swinging by it's neck, you read the Evening Standard and your head might explode.
London's fair (and unfair) citizens are being helped into their maddened frenzy by chemicals, drugs are over baby, I haven't even had Mexxy, does this mean I'm old? No, the available chemicals on tap are an exrodinary amount of car fumes, cocktailed with an exponential increase in drilling noise, asbestos, and of course, Prescription Drugs!
Medicine is elbowing it's way into every existence; Yesterday I tried to wake up a dead looking tramp,   and before that was forced due to funding cuts to perform operation on m'colleagues chin using only toothpaste, bogroll and gaffa tape. Apart from that I've been a woeful martyr to my back. The NHS, en generale, lets not name names,  made the monumentaly thughtless prescription of this:

We all know about codiene, but the bigger box is the mysteron. They have tricked me into taking a mental drug called Gabapentin. How very dare they, it's side effects include:
'Abnormal gait  unusual thoughts abnormal laboratory test results abrasion accidental injury more likely acne back pain blood and bone marrow problems breathing difficulties bronchitis in children confusion constipation convulsions in children coordination problems cough decreased movement depression diarrhoea difficulty sleeping double vision dry mouth or throat eye or eyesight problems feeling anxious feeling nervous feelings of hostility general feeling of being unwell headaches hyperactivity or aggressive behaviour in children impotence indigestion infection of the ear in children inflammation of the gums itching jointpain loss  and hypaesthesia skin rash or rashes speech problems stomachpain swelling of the face tooth problems tremors unexplained or unexpected bruising vasodilatation vertigo vomiting weakness weight gain'But relax,
'withdrawal symptoms can occur when this medicine is stopped. These include feeling anxious, difficulty sleeping, nausea, pains, sweating or chest pain - some of these may be fatal including worsening of seizure frequency'.  SO DON'T STOP TAKING IT!
This may explain why the City feels like it's going mental. Maybe it's just me, but actually, I don't reckon so..A lot of Londoners take it upon themselves to be a part-time Policeman (ignoring the actual part-time police volunteers who are least are easily identifiable). Feudally, the king is the car, second in command are Exiting New Developments. People live in squalor and must pay through the nose for it.
I've put together a little bitesize edition of the evening standard for you to ingest, get well soon London. X
EDIT - on putting that wee collage together I noticed the ES appear to be launching a conspiracy against dogs, just like Ken08.
So I've included so positive dog propaganda, which I encountered on the floor in deptford.

goodnight Seattle.

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